After this post, I plan on posting only one more - a birth announcement, with perhaps a short account of the labor/delivery experience (for those of you who want the details), but really more of a post-script to this journey that started in the coffice some eighteen months ago.
As I come to the end of this blog, I realize how much it has come to mean to me--not only as a memoir and somewhat satisfying piece of multi-media literature, but as a means of communication that has kept me connected and re-connected me to family and friends near and far. Fannee Doolee is more than just my musings - it is a product of every person who has read or will read it, whether you've joined in the fray of commenting, sent me private e-mails, or remained one of the many "stalkers" who silently stop by and reflect on my ramblings only in your own private thoughts or prayers.
As I come to the end of this pregnancy, I realize that the journey has led me down a far different path than I had plotted for myself. I embraced this pregnancy as a "sign from God" that I am worthy and capable of mothering one more child. Foolishly, I set myself up for failure by believing I would either breeze through a healthy and manageable pregnancy while escalating my career and being everything a mother could be to my family, or somehow finding the strength to do so despite sickness and discomforts. I have done neither.
And yet, my reward at the end of this path is far greater than being deemed some sort of ordained Supermom. Not only do I realize that I will never be the perfect wife/mother/lawyer/person, but much more importantly, that I don't have to. Rather, my reward is a far more valuable realization: help is there for those who need it (to quote J.K. Rowling once more). Like a lost driver who finally, finally, breaks down and asks for directions, I see what a blessing it has been for me to follow the path before me, despite the bumps and challenges, because it led me to the inevitable place where I have no choice but to ask for help. You can't imagine how difficult that was for me to do--and what an epiphany it has been to learn to do it. In asking for help, the greatest blessing has been revealed to me in the overwhelming support from those closest to me as well as the most unexpected sources. I am entirely surrounded by people who love me, despite my flaws and my needs, who walk with me along similar paths of uncertainty, who lead me with the wisdom of their own experiences, and who wait for me at the end of the road.
Hi Tiff... I'm not sure if I count as a stalker (entirely possible) or a reconnected friend, but I'm one of the readers who has thoroughly enjoyed the last year or so of reading with you! I even have my own blog... but rarely find myself commenting on any of the many others I read. From the way-back point of rooming together our first year at Cap to this moment - it has been such a pleasure to see updates on your life and "get to know" your family. Thanks for sharing everything, and a gigantic Welcome to your new addition!
Posted by: Alison | September 17, 2007 at 07:30
Tiff, you look fabulous!!! I wish you all of the best luck with the labor and delivery! I am here for you ANYTIME. Feel free to call me if you need a break or sleep...I will come to the rescue! I remember those day and I wish I had someone to lean on for help! Good Luck and I cannot wait to meet that baby!
PS. Be sure to use that birthing ball, think of the ocean, bring music, and most of all drugs....hehe. I know you are a strong woman...so, this will be easy!!!!!
Posted by: Jamie | September 17, 2007 at 08:37
I will miss your blog terribly. Not only was it inspirational to me, but it helped us stay close to you after we moved. We miss game night, and birthday parties, and trips to the zoo. We miss swaping stories and dinner parties with karaoke. I plan on keeping my blog, as it has become so much more to me than just a mere artistic outlet. I hope that it continues to bring you closer to our lives although we are so far away. We are looking forward to hearing about our new little neice any day. Give big sister Kiki, and big brother Logan big hugs and kisses from us. We miss you all so much.
Posted by: Aunt Grace | September 17, 2007 at 10:02
Perhaps you can plan Fannee reunions from time to time...you know we'll all look forward to that :)
I'm with ya...let's get the show on the road! Looking forward to that next update!!!
Posted by: Michael | September 17, 2007 at 22:21