Fannee Doolee

An Returns!

An Returns!, originally uploaded by Fannee Doolee.

Yes, in a climax resolving one of last season's biggest cliffhangers, yesterday we learned that the character of An (played, of course, by An) returns for another season of mad-capped mayhem on Fannee Doolee.  We spent all summer biting our nails, waiting for paperwork to clear, crossing our fingers while An sat through her interview with the U.S. Consulate, and praying for safe travels during her 30-hour, 4-airplane trip from Vietnam to Columbus.   She arrived safe and sound yesterday morning, bearing gifts.  Seen above are Logan and Keelin modeling their new áo dài, the traditional Vietnamese dress. 

An's featured role will continue her storyline from last season of a gifted, culturally unique teenage girl struggling to find her identity between vastly different Western and Eastern worlds amidst the chaos of a slightly atypical American family, coping with their own issues of middle-class economics, child-rearing and PPD.  Questions to be answered as the season unfolds include:  Will she nail the SAT?  Who will be her date for the Prom?  Where will she head off for college?  How will she keep her awesome sparkly manicure and pedicure in tip-top shape?  Will she change diapers?

Fannee Doolee knows that, no matter what the answer to these questions, An is surely a part of the Doolee family and back home where she belongs! 

The Strength to Bear It

An leaves for Vietnam tomorrow.   She and I just finished a grueling but invigorating week leading a first grade class through vacation bible school. 

As glorious as our recent role-reversal has been, Patrick and I are still trying to figure out how all the bills will get paid, and adding to that the possibility of the additional considerable expense that comes with our realization that private school may be the best fit for Logan next year. 

Kiki is on the verge of turning three, although some days, it seems more like fifteen. 

Charlotte/Frances/Megan/Lucy/Sophia continues to kick and squirm more tumultuously each day (though none of her pokes and prods give me any indication as to which of the aforementioned name possibilities she prefers - feel free to cast your votes through comments as I am taking all the naming help I can get at this point).

In sum, I am feeling stronger yet more challenged than I have in a long, long time - possibly ever.  I have never wanted to give and do so much for my children--more than I feel I know how to do, and yet, I cannot quite believe that I am bearing as much of this glorious cross I have been given as I have so far. 

I spent much of last night pondering and woke this morning thinking Why?  Why all of this at the same time?  Isn't the challenge of just raising our own two children enough?  Will I really have what it takes to bring a third precious child into this mix without detracting from what I have to give to the others?  Can I possible give An even the tiniest bit of insight to get her through what she must go through this summer and help her to return next fall? 

How would I feel if I were being called upon to do less?  This is certainly not an area in which I'd want to underachieve.  At the risk of sounding like a completely unworthy martyr, I'll share the thought that came to me this morning -- the penultimate scene of the move Schindler's List. 

Schindler saves hundreds of Jews from death during the holocaust, and yet, when it's all over and he looks back on what he's done, all he can think of is why didn't he do more?  Why wasn't he able to save more people?  It certainly was not for want of effort - I won't re-tell the story, but through the tale of this one man who put more than his own life on the line to save others, I realize when you are called upon to do something for the most valuable reason there is, you can't help but yearn to have done more when you finally get to the point of laying down that cross. 

I have always been somewhat of an over-achiever (or at least an over-attempter), and my children mean more than anything to me.  I've known since we first thought of having another baby that I did not want to get to the end of my child-raising years and wonder if we could have had a third.  I also accept that, while I may have doubts in my own abilities, I know I would not be called on to do a job where children are concerned if the Big Boss didn't feel I could handle it.  Now, it's just a matter of convincing myself. 

The Greatest Gift

So Lucky, originally uploaded by Fannee Doolee.

I feel so lucky this Mothers' Day.  I couldn't be more aware of the love, appreciation and support from my family, especially my children.  Click on the photo above to see more great shots in my flickr photo stream, including some truly inspiring artwork from the kids (and Patrick). 

Half-way, Hamburgers and Happiness

Today is the official half-way mark of this pregnancy - let's hope the second half goes a little better than the first.  I was not too surprised to find out that we're having a girl, and I felt overjoyed to see those first glimpses of her little face, hands, her beating heart.  She clearly waved at us during the ultrasound, and at one point she had her mouth wide open as if calling out to us.  The best part was listening to the kids' reactions though.  After the doctor informed us that she saw a "hamburger" I said - that means it's a girl.  An asked, "Really?  How can you tell."  Without missing a beat, my OB replied rather matter-of-factly, "because she doesn't have a penis." 

"Hamburgers" and "hot dogs" are lay-person terms for what the visual depiction of a baby's genitalia looks like through an ultrasound.  In her honor, I made hamburgers on the grill tonight.  The kids could not have been more thrilled.  Logan insisted on putting ketchup and mustard on his, and both kids devoured their burgers, thanking me the whole time for making such a delicious dinner.  I said, "if I'd known you'd like it so much, I'd have made hamburgers for dinner every night this month!"  Logan thought that sounded like a swell idea. 

On Saturday, we took the kids to see the matinee performance of the high school's production of "Your a Good Man, Charlie Brown."  An had a starring role in the behind-the-scenes work on this show - she was on the make-up crew and helped with some fairly elaborate set-up and clean up for the finale's special effects.  The show itself is really nothing more than several charming one-liners and comic-strip length dialogs strung together with various musical numbers, all pulled off rather impressively by the student cast.  About half of the cast members were teens from our church, and the attendees at the matinee performance seemed to include a majority of the toddler families from church as well. 

For the finale, the cast sings a sentimental but up-beat number called "Happiness is . . ."   The special effects included bubble sprays, and the numerous kids in the audience immediately took flight from their seats to dance and play in the bubbles in the theater aisles.  The effect combined the audience with the stage show, and I was struck by how soon the day will come when our little ones will be the young adults on stage, taking their final curtain call before leaving the nest.  At church the next morning, I was glad to hear from the other moms who attended that it wasn't just my pregnancy-inflated hormones that led me to tear up. 

Churros

Yesterday, I attended my second class on "The Art of Positive Parenting," a six-week  course being offered by my firm - more on that later.  For now, it suffices to say that I am embracing the concept of establishing open, supportive lines of communication with my children and relieving myself of the "good mother" syndrome, described basically as the need to micromanage your children and solve all of their problems for them.

So it was fortuitous that I came home from work in that rather open-minded state on the night that An and her friends were planning to use my kitchen to prepare Churros, a Mexican dessert, to take in to Spanish class the next day.  Although I was a little apprehensive about three teenagers deep-frying on an electric range, I limited my interference to purely safety-related guidance and let them have at it.  The final product was quite lovely, albeit a bit "turd" shaped:

The actual recipe called for a fluted pastry tube, but we improvised with a baggie and some tinfoil, hence the shape.  However, the taste was out of this world.  Recipe below. 

Churros

Ingredients: (Makes one plate full)
Vegetable or Olive Oil
1 cup water
1/2 cup margarine or butter
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
3 eggs
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)

Prepare to fry the churros by heating oil in a pan (1 to 1&1/2 inches) to 360 degrees F.

To make churro dough, heat water, margarine and salt to rolling boil in 3-quart saucepan; stir in flour. Stir vigorously over low heat until mixture forms a ball, about 1 minute; remove from heat. Beat eggs all at once; continue beating until smooth and then add to saucepan while stirring mixture.

Spoon mixture into cake decorators tube with large star tip (like the kind use to decorate cakes). Squeeze 4-inch strips of dough into hot oil. Fry 3 or 4 strips at a time until golden brown, turning once, about 2 minutes on each side. Drain on paper towels. (Mix Sugar and the optional cinnamon); roll churros in sugar or dump the sugar on the pile of churros, like the pros. That churro taste will take you right back to your favorite summer days walking the paseos of Spain.

Note: REAL churros in Spain are made without cinnamon mixed with the sugar, but the cinnamon adds an extra nice flavor.

A few photos of the chefs in action:

An and Skyler contemplate doubling or quadrupling the recipe while Mai fashions a pastry tube out of tin foil.

I was a little worried that someone's hair would catch on fire.

Speaking of hair . . .

Logan and Kiki pay complements to chef Mai.

Prom

Columbus is the home of Nationwide Insurance, a company that inundates the city with its huge advertising campaigns.  The latest is one that features three repeated pictures  - the first two showing images of unchanging youth.  In one series, it's a young man with a mop-top crop of curly dark hair; another features a cute pre-schooler with pig-tails and knee socks; a third (my favorite) is a Fabio inspired cover of a romance novel titled "Forever Young."  Then, the third picture in each series slams down the message of the campaign with a contrasting image - the same smiling young man appears, but now nearly bald; the cute little pre-schooler becomes a sassy teen with goth make-up to compliment her pig-tails and thigh-high looking knee socks; Fabio becomes withered and wrinkled, and his formerly buxom heroine gazes sadly down at her empty corset.  The tag line for this campaign:  Life comes at you fast.

That is exactly what I felt like this Saturday, rushing around at the last minute trying to find a boutonniere, picking up a An's prom dress from the cleaners, tracking her down to take pictures, and calling after her at all hours of the night to check in on her whereabouts.  I should've had at least another ten years to prepare for being a prom parent! 

Click the flickr icon in the left sidebar for more prom photos.    

So Emo

So Emo, originally uploaded by Fannee Doolee.

A few weeks ago, it happened - An stumped me with a vocabulary word from the Modern American Teen Vernacular that I'd never heard before: emo.

"What's 'emo' ?"

"You know - emo."

I didn't know - was it a person/creature, like Elmo? Was it a band? A movie? A code word for some strange ritual kids do to themselves or each other?

Patrick didn't know either, but thanks to the many definitions at urbandictionary.com, we are enlightened.  This one seems particularly applicable:

"Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who don't smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5 the of the face at an angle."

"OH! So THAT'S emo!" I totally get it. In fact, I'm now working on writing a self-help book titled, "Living With Your Emo Teen" and a companion book, "Emo Kindergartners: How Soon Can It Start?"

The photo above, which will be the cover for the former title, was taken after An stayed after school for a Drama Club make-up crew meeting during which she became somewhat of a guinea pig.  I don't think we're going to try to repeat this look for prom.  Click on the photo to see The Many Emo Faces of An in my flickr photostream. 

Mental Notes

As I am now going on my fifth straight day of keeping my food down, I think I can safely say I'm done puking and ready to get back to blogging.  Even the past week or so has been a big improvement, enough so that I've at least been able to get out and experience life, take pictures and otherwise capture in random thoughts and words rambling around in my head many "bloggable" moments.  In an effort to clear my mental pallet, and because I realize I'm never going to have time to go back and develop these into the full-blown posts that they might have been, I'm going to attempt to tackle this all in one mish-mash multi-category post so we can all move on.  Here goes.

Why Is It Always My Shoes?

Kiki, having fully recovered from hives and completed her course of steroids such that she has now returned to her normal spunky, adorable self, is making leaps and bounds in the world of potty training.  Going #2 on the indoor plumbing is a regular occurrence for her, however, getting the timing down on #1 is still a bit of a mystery.  She also on occasion enjoys trying on my shoes.  During a recent underwear-clad moment, she wound up testing the watertightness of a brand-spankin' new pair of Etienne Aigner pumps.  She'd done this one other time with a brand-spankin' new pair of Bandelino pumps.  And, while I'm happy to report that you could confidently sip champagne out of either pair, you probably don't want to at this point. 

Emotional Jail

Logan, ah Logan, I love you buddy, and you certainly have become quite a "man" since turning six - from making pee standing up "like a real man" to trying new foods and getting yourself dressed, you're really growing up.  And yet, we still have the occasional emotional overload.  SOMETHING happened at church recently that set you off - I didn't see it, but the mom of the 2-year old who was involved insisted that he apologize to you.  I tried to get you to talk about it:

"Can you tell me what upset you?"

"NO!"

"Talking about it might make you feel better."

"NEVER!"

"Well, could I just say a little prayer that you'll feel better?"

"NO WAY.   PUT AWAY THOSE PRAYER HANDS!"

"I'm not going to say anything out loud, I'm just going to think a prayer for you in my heart."

"NO!  MOMMY  - YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!"

"Jail?  Why am I going to jail?"

"FOR PRAYING!"

FANNEE MEETS GRACE

What do you get when you mix 2 lbs.  butter that's not even close to room temperature, a bag and a half of Hershey's dark chocolate chips and remaining cookie ingredients, and the energetic offspring of Fanneedoolee and Grace?  Chocolate chip crepes, and a lot of fun! 

Click here for more baking fun photos in my flickr photostream. 

H.B. MARIE!

Damn!  Where ARE those pictures?  You know the ones - with the lipstick and the tacky luggage?  They must be lost in my mom's basement somewhere.  I vow someday to find them and post them, hopefully before your next birthday.  Until then, this blast from the past will have to suffice:

Nice midriff.

High School Revisited

Congratulations to An, who once again received a top rating when performing with her school choir at a regional festival.  They advance to the state competition in May!  And thanks to An for my best people watching experience to date - sitting in the high school cafeteria after the performance, watching all the students from the various schools in their mix of formal singing attire and flip-flops.  From the fashions to the hairstyles to the social graces, high school is a social time capsule that remains unchanged.

The Many Faces of Logan

all aboard!

{More Photos To Come . . . }

The Third

Yes, I'm incubating again.  Surprised?  That's what most folks ask me when they hear the news.  The answer:  A little, not that this pregnancy was in any way unintended. 

After Keelin was born, Patrick and I never reached the point of feeling "done," but I, at least, remained apprehensive about having another baby.  I had no doubts that it would be a right fit for our family, I just didn't think I could do it again. I "what if?"ed myself to an unhealthy state - What if I have horrible morning sickness again?  What if I suffer another kidney stone, end up on bed rest, or - like too many of my peers - develop breast cancer?  What if I end up with sever post-partum depression?  What if I just don't have enough energy to take care of a baby and two others (and myself)?  Am I too old to be plunging into the pool one more time?  I hated the thought of abandoning the idea of having another baby out of fear, though.  So instead, I chose hope.  I chose to believe in myself rather than my fears. 

I owe this re-discovery of my self-confidence largely to An.  The weekend that An became a part of our family jump-started my maternal super-powers to a level that assured me that yes, I can do this.  I can find the energy, the strength, determination, patience and faith to take care of a child, even in challenging circumstances.  I saw clearly that our family's bonds are strong enough and flexible enough to withstand the change of growing.  Patrick and I both have been reminded of the invaluable lessons we learned the first time we were ever given a newborn to care for - that amazing time period where we stood on completely level ground and had no choice but to lean on each other, both being equally clueless and yet determined. 

And so now, even as I accept that some of those "what if?"s have already come true even before the end of my first trimester, I can't help but feeling a bit spoiled - like I've been given a gift I don't quite deserve.   It's almost like some higher power is saying, "Silly girl - I would not give you another baby if I did not think you could take care of it!"

I find my mind frequently returning to a gift I received from my Grandpa when I was seven or eight.  It is a small, mirrored plaque engraved with etched writing atop a frosted waterfall.  It reads "You are never given a cross without the strength to bear it.  You are never given a dream without the power to make it come true."  Those folks at Hallmark sure know how to turn a phrase.

The Third, originally uploaded by Fannee Doolee.

Nothing Like the Beach

An took advantage of the slightly warmer weather last weekend to get up close and personal with our heavy layer of snow:

Logan made sure she got some "face time" as well, and Kiki showed off her fashionable snow attire, courtesy of Nana, all of which can be viewd in my flickr photostream.