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« The Third (Fourth) | Main | The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow »

January 23, 2007



Everything we experience in life shapes who we are. I'm thinking about this one and how I want to respond. I need to sleep on it.


When someone commits suicide, it ends their pain and leaves a legacy of pain and questions for those left behind. No only their family and friends – but anyone who’s lives they have touched.

The person who has died has ended their pain – that heavy weight that has pulled them down into believing death is their only choice. The trials in their lives have overwhelmed them and their thinking has become distorted.

Depression is anger turned inwards – anger over things that happen to us, over things we cannot control. It consumes our bodies, our minds. Walking through life with a heave weight, clouded vision – a partial version of what our life once was, no hope for what it can become and not knowing who we are. Loss of definition, purpose and direction. Just breathing takes extreme concentration.

Fred has found his peace…..his memory, his story, make us all vulnerable to questions about ourselves.


Our family knows all to well suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
The crucial events that happen in our lives, can only deliver a lesson which allows us to make the best choices for ourselves in the future. To "what if" or "I should have" ... is to discount the lesson. Fred may have chosen suicide with or without the judgment. Had you not filed it, another attorney would have. You don't have his whole story, so the picture you see is that which only involves you. Receive the event and how you personally feel about it as a gift to yourself, one that allows you to make decisions today on what you want your tomorrows to bring. Fred represents the many blips on our screen of life ... there will be more, and hopefully it will be easier to make the right choice for you as they appear.


I agree with your mom. This experience was meant to happen to you, like it or not. You have been significantly changed by this man. If you want to relfect on something good that you did in your life, relfect on the first few weeks of Xavier's life.

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